What would you answer if someone asked you what is the number 1 cause of death in Ireland for young adults? Traffic accidents? Cancer? Drug abuse? None of these answers is correct. In fact the answer is suicide. Unfortunately in Ireland, it is a serious problem. Ireland has the highest rate of suicide in Europe. It is such a huge problem and unfortunately it remains a subject in this country that people don't want to talk about or to address. When people hear about suicide, they think for a moment that its such a shame and then they quickly move on in their lives because the subject is so sensitive and thought provoking that noone wants to dwell on it.
Unfortunately for people who are affected by suicide, they cannot do this, they cannot simply forget about it, its something that will be with them forever, impossible to brush under the carpet.
I found out last night from my emotional father, that my cousins boyfriends little sister killed herself last monday.
I always spend time with my cousins and the boyfriend in question is pretty much apart of that family as he has been going out with my cousin for at least 5 years. I know him very well. I met her little sister a few times from what i can remember, and she was good friends with my youngest cousins in the same family.
She was only 13 years old, she had her whole life ahead of her, her parents found her hanging in her wardrobe one morning when they were calling her for school. What must go through a young girls head that would lead her to this decision. The mind boggles. That family and my cousins' life have been turned upside down. I havent spoken to any of them yet, and when i do i truly do not know what to say, there is nothing i can do to help, nothing anyone can do. At least if it was a death from an illnes it may be easier to handle. But this.....this is going to change thier lives forever, and i cant even begin to comprehend what they must be going through right now. There are going to be so many questions running through that families mind that will never be answered......
I really dont know what to do and I dont think there is much i can do besides to pray to god to take care of that family and to try and prevent this tragedy to fall on any other family.
Thats all i really have to say on that, and i dont think there is much else to say.
RIP.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Its been a while.
Wow, found it difficult to believe that my last post was towards the end of January. However the more i think about i think it was down to not having much to write about or maybe not wanting to deal with an issue that i've been having.
Anyway, there hasn't been alot of developments or exciting goings on in the past few months.
At the moment im reaching the end of my second college year. Hard to believe that im nearly half way through my 3rd level education, i'm not sure if I like that or not... Exams coming up soon, and I have so much work to get through, its pretty overwhelming.
Not sure if i have mentioned my Summer plans in this blog yet but i will be spending 3 months in New York and unfortunately im a little bit apprehensive about it now. Its down to a number of things really, worried about finding work, worried that i won't enjoy myself considering i wont be able to drink over there, worried that i will drive my friends crazy or vice versa and probably the biggest of them all being will i get what i want to achieve from the "holiday".
Its difficult to define what i want from this, I know myself that i need a change of scenery and possibly a new outlook on life. The events of the past 9 months which have been well documented in this blog have left me struggling to live happily or even carry out my responsibilities such as studying,keeping fit and being a good friend. I hope that this trip to America will help me break loose the weight that i feel that i am carrying on my shoulders and the weight that i feel i wont be able to cope with for much longer. I think its becoming a case of making the most of the oppurtunities coming my way such as this trip to NYC, visiting my brother in NewZealand this Christmas and then travelling to Oz soon after that and being able to be strong in the time that i must wait for these things to happen. I thought that spending more time up in Dublin would help heal these wounds but unfortunately that has not been the case, i've grown more obsessed with my ex-girlfriend and becoming more isolated from the real world around me.
However, I realised something quite recently(yesterday in fact), how important two of my friends are. I've been friends with one of them ever since primary school and the other early in secondary school. They both have their own lives, relationships and responsibilities but there always there for me when i need them. Last night the three of us went out and just enjoyed ourselves, there was little or no talk about previous crap in our lives (which tends to happen when we are drinking), just good old fashioned banter and some wayward dancing(especially on my part), i cant remember the last time i enjoyed myself so much. These two friends of mine have always been there for me and I hope they always will, even if our paths in life look to be going in different directions. Betrayl of the highest order from a friend which was documented in this blog made me realise who my real friends are and how I know for a fact that they would never do such a thing to me. Im just pretty glad that i have such people in my life.
Another thing, got a text message from the ex a few weeks back, which was in reply to one of my random venting of regret,anger and remorse.
"Look, im in a really good part of my life right now and i dont want any interruptions, i did care for you too, but now is just not the time"
My first reaction was joy because it was the first time i had a reply since the breakup but obviously the hurt began to settle in considering she is enjoying herself(without me) and used the past tense in terms of caring about me. Also, recently i found out she had a boyfriend(relationship is apparently on the rocks), which infuriated me considering how quickly she moved on from me. It also makes me feel insignificant, as if i was a big mistake.
Hopefully my constant thoughts about her and other crap in my life will ease when i go to America and my other far away destinations. Or even better, maybe she will want to see me.
Till next time.
Anyway, there hasn't been alot of developments or exciting goings on in the past few months.
At the moment im reaching the end of my second college year. Hard to believe that im nearly half way through my 3rd level education, i'm not sure if I like that or not... Exams coming up soon, and I have so much work to get through, its pretty overwhelming.
Not sure if i have mentioned my Summer plans in this blog yet but i will be spending 3 months in New York and unfortunately im a little bit apprehensive about it now. Its down to a number of things really, worried about finding work, worried that i won't enjoy myself considering i wont be able to drink over there, worried that i will drive my friends crazy or vice versa and probably the biggest of them all being will i get what i want to achieve from the "holiday".
Its difficult to define what i want from this, I know myself that i need a change of scenery and possibly a new outlook on life. The events of the past 9 months which have been well documented in this blog have left me struggling to live happily or even carry out my responsibilities such as studying,keeping fit and being a good friend. I hope that this trip to America will help me break loose the weight that i feel that i am carrying on my shoulders and the weight that i feel i wont be able to cope with for much longer. I think its becoming a case of making the most of the oppurtunities coming my way such as this trip to NYC, visiting my brother in NewZealand this Christmas and then travelling to Oz soon after that and being able to be strong in the time that i must wait for these things to happen. I thought that spending more time up in Dublin would help heal these wounds but unfortunately that has not been the case, i've grown more obsessed with my ex-girlfriend and becoming more isolated from the real world around me.
However, I realised something quite recently(yesterday in fact), how important two of my friends are. I've been friends with one of them ever since primary school and the other early in secondary school. They both have their own lives, relationships and responsibilities but there always there for me when i need them. Last night the three of us went out and just enjoyed ourselves, there was little or no talk about previous crap in our lives (which tends to happen when we are drinking), just good old fashioned banter and some wayward dancing(especially on my part), i cant remember the last time i enjoyed myself so much. These two friends of mine have always been there for me and I hope they always will, even if our paths in life look to be going in different directions. Betrayl of the highest order from a friend which was documented in this blog made me realise who my real friends are and how I know for a fact that they would never do such a thing to me. Im just pretty glad that i have such people in my life.
Another thing, got a text message from the ex a few weeks back, which was in reply to one of my random venting of regret,anger and remorse.
"Look, im in a really good part of my life right now and i dont want any interruptions, i did care for you too, but now is just not the time"
My first reaction was joy because it was the first time i had a reply since the breakup but obviously the hurt began to settle in considering she is enjoying herself(without me) and used the past tense in terms of caring about me. Also, recently i found out she had a boyfriend(relationship is apparently on the rocks), which infuriated me considering how quickly she moved on from me. It also makes me feel insignificant, as if i was a big mistake.
Hopefully my constant thoughts about her and other crap in my life will ease when i go to America and my other far away destinations. Or even better, maybe she will want to see me.
Till next time.
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