Wow, found it difficult to believe that my last post was towards the end of January. However the more i think about i think it was down to not having much to write about or maybe not wanting to deal with an issue that i've been having.
Anyway, there hasn't been alot of developments or exciting goings on in the past few months.
At the moment im reaching the end of my second college year. Hard to believe that im nearly half way through my 3rd level education, i'm not sure if I like that or not... Exams coming up soon, and I have so much work to get through, its pretty overwhelming.
Not sure if i have mentioned my Summer plans in this blog yet but i will be spending 3 months in New York and unfortunately im a little bit apprehensive about it now. Its down to a number of things really, worried about finding work, worried that i won't enjoy myself considering i wont be able to drink over there, worried that i will drive my friends crazy or vice versa and probably the biggest of them all being will i get what i want to achieve from the "holiday".
Its difficult to define what i want from this, I know myself that i need a change of scenery and possibly a new outlook on life. The events of the past 9 months which have been well documented in this blog have left me struggling to live happily or even carry out my responsibilities such as studying,keeping fit and being a good friend. I hope that this trip to America will help me break loose the weight that i feel that i am carrying on my shoulders and the weight that i feel i wont be able to cope with for much longer. I think its becoming a case of making the most of the oppurtunities coming my way such as this trip to NYC, visiting my brother in NewZealand this Christmas and then travelling to Oz soon after that and being able to be strong in the time that i must wait for these things to happen. I thought that spending more time up in Dublin would help heal these wounds but unfortunately that has not been the case, i've grown more obsessed with my ex-girlfriend and becoming more isolated from the real world around me.
However, I realised something quite recently(yesterday in fact), how important two of my friends are. I've been friends with one of them ever since primary school and the other early in secondary school. They both have their own lives, relationships and responsibilities but there always there for me when i need them. Last night the three of us went out and just enjoyed ourselves, there was little or no talk about previous crap in our lives (which tends to happen when we are drinking), just good old fashioned banter and some wayward dancing(especially on my part), i cant remember the last time i enjoyed myself so much. These two friends of mine have always been there for me and I hope they always will, even if our paths in life look to be going in different directions. Betrayl of the highest order from a friend which was documented in this blog made me realise who my real friends are and how I know for a fact that they would never do such a thing to me. Im just pretty glad that i have such people in my life.
Another thing, got a text message from the ex a few weeks back, which was in reply to one of my random venting of regret,anger and remorse.
"Look, im in a really good part of my life right now and i dont want any interruptions, i did care for you too, but now is just not the time"
My first reaction was joy because it was the first time i had a reply since the breakup but obviously the hurt began to settle in considering she is enjoying herself(without me) and used the past tense in terms of caring about me. Also, recently i found out she had a boyfriend(relationship is apparently on the rocks), which infuriated me considering how quickly she moved on from me. It also makes me feel insignificant, as if i was a big mistake.
Hopefully my constant thoughts about her and other crap in my life will ease when i go to America and my other far away destinations. Or even better, maybe she will want to see me.
Till next time.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Exam Update : 3 down, 2 to go.
Just thought I'd give people an update on how my exams are going so far.
First one was Atmospheric and Aquatic Chemistry. I can't say it went well. I thought I was well enough prepared to pass it easily, unfortunately I was quite mistaken. The paper was a bitch. Questions which I have never even seen before appeared. Saying that, I may have scraped a pass.
Second exam was Applied Anatomy and Physiology. That went swimmingly! Same old questions like every year and should be in the 70+ region.
Had Meteorology today. Again it was pretty much the same questions, but due to the difficulty and vagueness of those questions I doubt I will get in the 70+ region, probably over 60% anyway.
Two more exams left. Sociology of Health on Saturday and then Atmospheric Physics on Tuesday. I'm taking a night off tonight, go to bed early, sleep in a bit, and be nice and fresh tomorrow for study. The last two exams should be ok, as long as i get my head down and study everything will be A OK.
One thing which is making me feel better about the first exams is that if i get a 55% average in the rest of my exams then i will pass by compensation in my first exam, as long as that exam was in the region of 35-39%.
Anyway I better hit the hay.
Later .
First one was Atmospheric and Aquatic Chemistry. I can't say it went well. I thought I was well enough prepared to pass it easily, unfortunately I was quite mistaken. The paper was a bitch. Questions which I have never even seen before appeared. Saying that, I may have scraped a pass.
Second exam was Applied Anatomy and Physiology. That went swimmingly! Same old questions like every year and should be in the 70+ region.
Had Meteorology today. Again it was pretty much the same questions, but due to the difficulty and vagueness of those questions I doubt I will get in the 70+ region, probably over 60% anyway.
Two more exams left. Sociology of Health on Saturday and then Atmospheric Physics on Tuesday. I'm taking a night off tonight, go to bed early, sleep in a bit, and be nice and fresh tomorrow for study. The last two exams should be ok, as long as i get my head down and study everything will be A OK.
One thing which is making me feel better about the first exams is that if i get a 55% average in the rest of my exams then i will pass by compensation in my first exam, as long as that exam was in the region of 35-39%.
Anyway I better hit the hay.
Later .
New Breath Of Life.
Its funny how one moment, one thought that goes through your head could potentially change your life.
All my life I feel that I haven't achieved my full potential, or achieve what i always wanted to achieve.
I go to bed at night thinking of a better me, a person who is fulfilling all his dreams. It makes me smile. It makes me feel better. It takes me to sleep.
It may sound silly, or even obvious, but I really only realised now that if you want something done, if you want to change yourself, if you want to be a happier and better person you must take the initiative. Your must take the chance, you HAVE to. Nobody else is going to do it for you. Its not going to happen by chance, your not going to wake up one morning and be a different person. I suppose you could say its sad that it has taken me 19 years to realise this.
I want to be better, I want to look different, I want to be fitter, I want to quit smoking, I want a better life. I cannot wait around for this to happen. I cannot pray to god for this, he isnt going to do it for me, i have to do it.
I need to take more risks, with every aspect in my life. If I keep going the way im going, im going to become more unhealthy, fat, ugly, get through my degree with the lowest possible achievments, get a shit job, stay in this crappy country and be unhappy forever.
I cannot let this happen. I must break from my mould, I need to try new things and stop letting my life pass me by.
Im not saying tomorrow morning i'm going to go to the gym, quit smoking, buy new clothes, study and take up guitar. Its not going to happen that fast. I just hope this realisation of what my life has been up to this point will give me a wake up call. I will change, I must change and I look forward to what I will become and what I will achieve. You only have one life. Why waste it. There is too much out there to do, too many different things to experience out there, I cannot miss any of these things. Im not going to let my life become the same as everyone elses. Get a job, get a girlfriend, get engaged, get married, buy a house, have kids. I only have two words for this, Fuck That.
I've always wanted a new breath of life and I think I've just found it.
All my life I feel that I haven't achieved my full potential, or achieve what i always wanted to achieve.
I go to bed at night thinking of a better me, a person who is fulfilling all his dreams. It makes me smile. It makes me feel better. It takes me to sleep.
It may sound silly, or even obvious, but I really only realised now that if you want something done, if you want to change yourself, if you want to be a happier and better person you must take the initiative. Your must take the chance, you HAVE to. Nobody else is going to do it for you. Its not going to happen by chance, your not going to wake up one morning and be a different person. I suppose you could say its sad that it has taken me 19 years to realise this.
I want to be better, I want to look different, I want to be fitter, I want to quit smoking, I want a better life. I cannot wait around for this to happen. I cannot pray to god for this, he isnt going to do it for me, i have to do it.
I need to take more risks, with every aspect in my life. If I keep going the way im going, im going to become more unhealthy, fat, ugly, get through my degree with the lowest possible achievments, get a shit job, stay in this crappy country and be unhappy forever.
I cannot let this happen. I must break from my mould, I need to try new things and stop letting my life pass me by.
Im not saying tomorrow morning i'm going to go to the gym, quit smoking, buy new clothes, study and take up guitar. Its not going to happen that fast. I just hope this realisation of what my life has been up to this point will give me a wake up call. I will change, I must change and I look forward to what I will become and what I will achieve. You only have one life. Why waste it. There is too much out there to do, too many different things to experience out there, I cannot miss any of these things. Im not going to let my life become the same as everyone elses. Get a job, get a girlfriend, get engaged, get married, buy a house, have kids. I only have two words for this, Fuck That.
I've always wanted a new breath of life and I think I've just found it.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Hate to be the Bearer of Bad News.......
So anyway as i was saying from my previous post, I came home to Limerick on New Years Day. It was really good to be back but unfortunately i was given some news which sort of fucked up my triumphant return to my home city. Anyway i suppose i can start of saying that i have two really good friends (I will call them John and Frank) for confidentiality purposes. They were also best friends with each other. Now Frank had be going out with this girl called Nikki for nearly over a year. Frank went abroad for his studies back in in August and his relationship with Nikki was on the rocks, however they still werent broken up. Now this is where John comes into the equation. I knew from back in the summer that John and Nikki had made out with each other on a drunken night out. I was pissed off about this but i didnt hold a grudge too long against John because i have done some shit like that in my past so i would be a hypocrite if held a grudge too long. Anyway when i got back to Limerick, I met up with John and he told me the news. He was now going out with Nikki. I thought this was strange, and i was angry at him for doing this to Frank but apparently he is in love....I went home after that and mulled over the new situation .
I got a call from Frank that night. He knew about the situation too and he told me some horrible news which John decided to leave out. Basically John and Nikki have been fucking each other for the past few months, and it didnt suprise me because i always knew that there was something going on between them two. Now they were doing this even when Frank and Nikki were still doing stuff together. Frank is heartbroken of course. And the way he found out about this would make you even feel more sorry for the guy. He was sleeping over in Johns house after a night out. Frank wasnt able to sleep so he decided to flick through Johns college notes, unfortunately they werent college notes. They were love letters from Nikki and pretty explicit ones at that. Frank then rang Nikki told her the truth was out and then proceeded to kick the shit out of John. Go Frank!
As you would imagine, this is extremely fucked up and now i then received even more information which would make you hate John even more. While i was on the phone to Frank discussing all the events, he suddenly said "Sean, man... I really have to tell you something and im so sorry that i didnt tell you sooner...."My heart began to race. He then told me that John had made out with my ex girlfriend.....you know...the one im still in love with it, the one who i dedicated a whole post to in this blog! This happened about 2 weeks after i broke up with her and i was in dublin for college. I couldnt even decribe to you how i was feeling. My heart wouldnt stop pounding, i struggled to breathe, i was awash with rage. I felt so betrayed, by both of them, by John and my ex.
It was a strange situation. John, the guy i would regard as my best friend for the past 6 years, little innocent John, the guy who wouldnt hurt a fly. What baffles me about this whole situation is that i just could never imagine doing anything like this, to me or to Frank. I can honestly say i never felt so bad and betrayed in a long time, i can only imagine how Frank is feeling.....
I met up with John the day after, he told me that he was so sorry, he was going to tell me, he was really drunk, yada yada yada.......
I didnt kick the shit out of him, i wouldnt waste my energy on that piece of shit. I still hung out with him that week, i know you may be thinking what the hell, but let me explain.
There is something about this guy I still love, Frank feels the same. As much of this guy has betrayed us, there is naturally a part of us that still love the guy. However i can admit that it wasnt the same when i was hanging out with him, anytime i thought of his tongue down my ex's throat i was tempted to start strangling him.
Anyway i couldnt concentrate on anything that week, i was meant to be studying, but i was so down about everything, what happened to me, what happened to frank, what has happened to my ex and what kind of person she is becoming. I just couldnt get any of these things out of my mind. I had to get back to Dublin and i did. Came back last sunday and im glad. It hasnt been on my mind as much but it still lingers.
I have more important things to be worrying about anyway. Exams.
My exams should go okay. Even though i feel very under prepared for them . I have put alot of study into them all this week but i think its too little too late. Anyway we will see. They start on tuesday and if the first one goes well then all will be good (hopefully).
I have alot to look forward to in the next couple of months. Going to New York, seeing my brother in New Zealand. Things which should encourage me to study and get my head down but alas here i am on the internet dossing!
Till next time.
I got a call from Frank that night. He knew about the situation too and he told me some horrible news which John decided to leave out. Basically John and Nikki have been fucking each other for the past few months, and it didnt suprise me because i always knew that there was something going on between them two. Now they were doing this even when Frank and Nikki were still doing stuff together. Frank is heartbroken of course. And the way he found out about this would make you even feel more sorry for the guy. He was sleeping over in Johns house after a night out. Frank wasnt able to sleep so he decided to flick through Johns college notes, unfortunately they werent college notes. They were love letters from Nikki and pretty explicit ones at that. Frank then rang Nikki told her the truth was out and then proceeded to kick the shit out of John. Go Frank!
As you would imagine, this is extremely fucked up and now i then received even more information which would make you hate John even more. While i was on the phone to Frank discussing all the events, he suddenly said "Sean, man... I really have to tell you something and im so sorry that i didnt tell you sooner...."My heart began to race. He then told me that John had made out with my ex girlfriend.....you know...the one im still in love with it, the one who i dedicated a whole post to in this blog! This happened about 2 weeks after i broke up with her and i was in dublin for college. I couldnt even decribe to you how i was feeling. My heart wouldnt stop pounding, i struggled to breathe, i was awash with rage. I felt so betrayed, by both of them, by John and my ex.
It was a strange situation. John, the guy i would regard as my best friend for the past 6 years, little innocent John, the guy who wouldnt hurt a fly. What baffles me about this whole situation is that i just could never imagine doing anything like this, to me or to Frank. I can honestly say i never felt so bad and betrayed in a long time, i can only imagine how Frank is feeling.....
I met up with John the day after, he told me that he was so sorry, he was going to tell me, he was really drunk, yada yada yada.......
I didnt kick the shit out of him, i wouldnt waste my energy on that piece of shit. I still hung out with him that week, i know you may be thinking what the hell, but let me explain.
There is something about this guy I still love, Frank feels the same. As much of this guy has betrayed us, there is naturally a part of us that still love the guy. However i can admit that it wasnt the same when i was hanging out with him, anytime i thought of his tongue down my ex's throat i was tempted to start strangling him.
Anyway i couldnt concentrate on anything that week, i was meant to be studying, but i was so down about everything, what happened to me, what happened to frank, what has happened to my ex and what kind of person she is becoming. I just couldnt get any of these things out of my mind. I had to get back to Dublin and i did. Came back last sunday and im glad. It hasnt been on my mind as much but it still lingers.
I have more important things to be worrying about anyway. Exams.
My exams should go okay. Even though i feel very under prepared for them . I have put alot of study into them all this week but i think its too little too late. Anyway we will see. They start on tuesday and if the first one goes well then all will be good (hopefully).
I have alot to look forward to in the next couple of months. Going to New York, seeing my brother in New Zealand. Things which should encourage me to study and get my head down but alas here i am on the internet dossing!
Till next time.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Happy Xmas and New Year to everyone!
Again i would like to apoligise for the lack of blogging that has been going on with me in the past few weeks. As you can imagine one can be very busy over the xmas period.
Anywho i just thought i would give an update on what has been happening in the past few weeks.
Basically from the end of November to the 3oth of December my life has been consumed by job in River Island. They basically threw hours at me and there were very few days in that time period that i had off work.
Its difficult to sum up my job there as it had its good days and its bad days. I ended up working behind the tills in the womens section (busier than Mens you could imagine) and for all that time it was pretty stressful. Im glad i was working there though as i was constantly kept busy and the time in there really did fly compared to previous jobs i have had. Anyway the people in there were pretty hit and miss. Some people were sound and some people were absolute wank stains.
Nearly all the guys who work there are gay and they are all really sound bar one who happens to be the biggest bitch on the planet and we are talking queen B material.
Now we had a staff party the saturday before xmas. I wasnt even going to go due to my inevitable shyness and the fact that i knew people there but i didnt really know them well . Eventually i said fuck it. im going to go, what did i have to lose anyway? Took me 2 buses and alot of avoiding eye contact with scumbags and junkies to get there. I walked in to the party to see people all enjoying themselves in there own little groups and immediately i felt shy and awkward. So what did i do in this situation? Went straight to the bar and i probably had 3 pints in the space of 30 minutes to ease the nerves. Eventually two guys i work with who are also christmas temps like me arrived and we ended up hanging out for the night and having a great time. It was turning out to be a great night! Anyway from what i can remember, there was this girl giving me some serious attention on the dancefloor which didnt bother me at all! So i ended up chatting her up and giving her a kiss and basically looking like i was with her. Now at this point i didnt realise that nearly everyone who works in RI loves a bit of gossip and its basically like a mini soap opera in there. Unfortunately this wasnt going through my mind at the time.
I went home anyway, paid a substantial amount of money for a taxi and hit the hay. I had work at 10am the next morning and i ended up being late and driving there whilst still intoxicated, seriously bad move but hey i was hungover and had no way to work. Got there and had the longest day of work in my life thus far, it was just horrible. Through that day i had colleagues filling me in of my actions the night before and always pointing out that i was with this girl which they thought was hilarious. Unfortunately for me i couldnt remember what this girl looked like so i for all i know she could of been in the room where everyone else was slagging me off!
Ah just another good night out for Sean!
Basically the following week this one guy who works in RI who like i said is a total little bitch ended up telling everyone about it, even the managers! Id actually love to deck the little pansy fuck but it would probably just cause more trouble than it would be worth.
Overall it was a decent enough job, got on well with most people but the only thing about it is that nearly everyone who works there are still in secondary school and are all nearly 17 years of age. This actually makes the place difficult to endure as it just constant gossip and bitching and hassle!
Anyway i didnt get kept on, apparently one of the managers had me on her list of the people she wanted to keep on but unfortunately the way things panned out they couldnt give me enough hours. Ah well.
So my xmas basically consisted of working in that place, with the odd spell of drinking and eating.
Back in Limerick now for the first time since late October/early November. I must say its good to be home but unfortunately i had alot of news coming my way which has actually turned my little world upside down.
All will be explained in the next post!
Till Next Time.
Anywho i just thought i would give an update on what has been happening in the past few weeks.
Basically from the end of November to the 3oth of December my life has been consumed by job in River Island. They basically threw hours at me and there were very few days in that time period that i had off work.
Its difficult to sum up my job there as it had its good days and its bad days. I ended up working behind the tills in the womens section (busier than Mens you could imagine) and for all that time it was pretty stressful. Im glad i was working there though as i was constantly kept busy and the time in there really did fly compared to previous jobs i have had. Anyway the people in there were pretty hit and miss. Some people were sound and some people were absolute wank stains.
Nearly all the guys who work there are gay and they are all really sound bar one who happens to be the biggest bitch on the planet and we are talking queen B material.
Now we had a staff party the saturday before xmas. I wasnt even going to go due to my inevitable shyness and the fact that i knew people there but i didnt really know them well . Eventually i said fuck it. im going to go, what did i have to lose anyway? Took me 2 buses and alot of avoiding eye contact with scumbags and junkies to get there. I walked in to the party to see people all enjoying themselves in there own little groups and immediately i felt shy and awkward. So what did i do in this situation? Went straight to the bar and i probably had 3 pints in the space of 30 minutes to ease the nerves. Eventually two guys i work with who are also christmas temps like me arrived and we ended up hanging out for the night and having a great time. It was turning out to be a great night! Anyway from what i can remember, there was this girl giving me some serious attention on the dancefloor which didnt bother me at all! So i ended up chatting her up and giving her a kiss and basically looking like i was with her. Now at this point i didnt realise that nearly everyone who works in RI loves a bit of gossip and its basically like a mini soap opera in there. Unfortunately this wasnt going through my mind at the time.
I went home anyway, paid a substantial amount of money for a taxi and hit the hay. I had work at 10am the next morning and i ended up being late and driving there whilst still intoxicated, seriously bad move but hey i was hungover and had no way to work. Got there and had the longest day of work in my life thus far, it was just horrible. Through that day i had colleagues filling me in of my actions the night before and always pointing out that i was with this girl which they thought was hilarious. Unfortunately for me i couldnt remember what this girl looked like so i for all i know she could of been in the room where everyone else was slagging me off!
Ah just another good night out for Sean!
Basically the following week this one guy who works in RI who like i said is a total little bitch ended up telling everyone about it, even the managers! Id actually love to deck the little pansy fuck but it would probably just cause more trouble than it would be worth.
Overall it was a decent enough job, got on well with most people but the only thing about it is that nearly everyone who works there are still in secondary school and are all nearly 17 years of age. This actually makes the place difficult to endure as it just constant gossip and bitching and hassle!
Anyway i didnt get kept on, apparently one of the managers had me on her list of the people she wanted to keep on but unfortunately the way things panned out they couldnt give me enough hours. Ah well.
So my xmas basically consisted of working in that place, with the odd spell of drinking and eating.
Back in Limerick now for the first time since late October/early November. I must say its good to be home but unfortunately i had alot of news coming my way which has actually turned my little world upside down.
All will be explained in the next post!
Till Next Time.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
College, Work, Attempt Study, Sleep..........Repeat.
This is basically whats been happening in my life in the past few weeks.
My first semester of college is drawing to a close, there are only two weeks left and its pretty crazy how quickly time has passed. It only seems like yesterday that i was starting college all over again.
I have been getting my act together slightly in the past few weeks in terms of my college work . I handed in a kick ass assignment for atmospheric physics last week and hopefully i will get near enough to full marks for it. This just shows that i can do these assignments if i put my mind to it and give it the required time. I have printed out nearly all my notes for all my lectures, there all in their respective binders and are each enclosed in a neat, clear polypocket. Now thats organisation! I have actually never done something like that before and its good to know that i have access to all this material anytime i please and that its not a case of looking through crumpled up sheets of paper which is basically what i had been doing for as far back as i can remember. My exams are coming up at the end of January so i have plenty of time to study and to achieve what i want from these exams. Im not out of the woods yet however. Lab reports are definetly the next thing on my agenda. We have one environmental chemistry lab once a week and for each lab we much write up a report for it, about 5 pages long usually. I have bits and pieces done of each one and they dont have to be handed up until the end of the semester (as far as i know), this is all we are getting graded on for the labs, which is pretty cool as last year we had to do a lab exam which actually involved testing of my knowledge of chemistry!! Nice to be able to dodge that bullet this year (so far anyway :P). Its pretty much a guaranteed 70% or over mark if i actually sit down and put efforts into these lab reports and to make sure that they are as flawless as possible. Hopefully I will do that and i will be on my way.
Im well into the swing of things in terms of my job. I must admit the first few days of working were pretty rough as there are so many things that you have to remember and you are constantly working under pressure due to the fact that it is only 2 weeks away from christmas. Im working in the womens section which is the busiest part of the store and im working at the tills. It is really tough work i must admit. At the beginning it was just terrible. Trying to remember all the different procedures for cash payments, payments my credit card/laser card, payments by all the different kinds of vouchers, the printing of gift receipts, returning items, exchanging items, refunding customers, it goes on and on and on.....was extremely difficult. Im in my third week now i think and its only now that im getting the hang of it. However i am glad that im working where i am, as it will give me very good retail exeperience as River Island is one of the biggest names in the retail and fashion business. Also i will be qualified to work behind tills and this will be a big advantage to me in terms of future employment.
I have had some issues with my job so far. Yesterday is a very good example. I nearly got fired! Basically i thought i was working from 1-5, unfortunately i got a phone call about 12pm from my manager wondering why i wasnt in work and that i was schedueled to be working from 9am to 1pm. I told her that i was on my way in for my 1-5 shift and that i was certain that this was the shift i was meant to be working. She said she will check it out properly when i get in. So i got in about quarter past 12, met with the manager and we checked the roster.....FUCK...it said 9-1......how the hell did i get that wrong? The roster had not been changed, it was entirely my fuck up. Now the funny thing is that this had already happened before. But thankfully they didnt think much of it due to the fact that i was new. Anyway this time i could sense some anger from my usually friendly and kind manager. Now she isnt the kind to get pissed off and i could tell from the way she was talking to me that she was trying her best not to crucify me. Anyway she told me that i could work that day from 1-5 (as i incorrectly thought. ) Which was really nice of her as it would of been so embarrasing for me not to work that day at all as all the other staff would probably know how i fucked up so bad and how much of an idiot i was. Anyway i went to get a coffee and smoke several cigarettes. My head was fucked up, i just couldnt believe how stupid i was and how i let that happen. Had very little confidence in myself at that stage. It definetly showed through my work that day.....I kept fucking up! Pressing wrong buttons everywhere! Argh! We were extremely busy that day as it was a saturday and its the run up to christmas. Eventually my shift was finished and i got the fuck out of there. I was just so angry after it, seriously had not been in a bad mood in such a long time (and the fact that i found out Newcastle through away a 2-0 lead against Stoke didnt help my mood). I went home, ate a pizza, watched some tv and hit the hay eventually.
I woke up this morning in a slightly better mood and went to work straight away, i had a shift from 12-4. It went pretty well, again we were extremely busy but i didnt fuck up and i walked out of that place with my head held high (also repeating to myself that i am working wednesday and friday 6-10 both days :P)
So that pretty much my work life at the moment. Trying to study in between going to college, working and sleeping is proving rather difficult as college and work both take alot out of me especially when i have to do both on the same day. However all of it giving me a better sense of accomplishment within myself and making me a prouder person because I am trying and im not sitting on my ass which is what i used to do alot before.
Writing this now is making me feel alot better about where I'm at. It is showing me what i have done and what more i can do and has to be done.
On another note my social life has taken a nose dive in recent weeks. Last time i was out was 3 weeks ago in Limerick which ended up being a pretty crap night anyway. Thankfully i went out on thursday night and it was my class party which i organised due to my duties and responsibilities as Class Rep. I had a great night and it was really fun talking to people in my class who i would usually not talk with due to the fact we all have our own groups withing our class. I also got horribly drunk! But it was good kind of drunk. I did feel like shit the next day but it was worth it as i had a great night and i think i deserved to have a good time.
I suppose i might aswel include an update on my love life in this post. There is none :D
Now and again it gets me down and im slightly worried as usually there isnt a problem in this department but i know myself not to get too concerned about it. I know myself that im not looking for any relationship at this stage in my life and i have more important things to be doing than getting involved in one of those things again. However i wouldnt mind the odd bit of woman here or there, keep me sane anyway :P
Thats all i can really think of right now thats going on in my life. There is also the possibility of doing a J1 next summer but i will discuss that in another post. Anyway id like to apoligise to anyone who reads this blog that i havent been posting as much as i used to but i am definetly going to try and address that issue in the future.
Till Next Time.
Sean.
My first semester of college is drawing to a close, there are only two weeks left and its pretty crazy how quickly time has passed. It only seems like yesterday that i was starting college all over again.
I have been getting my act together slightly in the past few weeks in terms of my college work . I handed in a kick ass assignment for atmospheric physics last week and hopefully i will get near enough to full marks for it. This just shows that i can do these assignments if i put my mind to it and give it the required time. I have printed out nearly all my notes for all my lectures, there all in their respective binders and are each enclosed in a neat, clear polypocket. Now thats organisation! I have actually never done something like that before and its good to know that i have access to all this material anytime i please and that its not a case of looking through crumpled up sheets of paper which is basically what i had been doing for as far back as i can remember. My exams are coming up at the end of January so i have plenty of time to study and to achieve what i want from these exams. Im not out of the woods yet however. Lab reports are definetly the next thing on my agenda. We have one environmental chemistry lab once a week and for each lab we much write up a report for it, about 5 pages long usually. I have bits and pieces done of each one and they dont have to be handed up until the end of the semester (as far as i know), this is all we are getting graded on for the labs, which is pretty cool as last year we had to do a lab exam which actually involved testing of my knowledge of chemistry!! Nice to be able to dodge that bullet this year (so far anyway :P). Its pretty much a guaranteed 70% or over mark if i actually sit down and put efforts into these lab reports and to make sure that they are as flawless as possible. Hopefully I will do that and i will be on my way.
Im well into the swing of things in terms of my job. I must admit the first few days of working were pretty rough as there are so many things that you have to remember and you are constantly working under pressure due to the fact that it is only 2 weeks away from christmas. Im working in the womens section which is the busiest part of the store and im working at the tills. It is really tough work i must admit. At the beginning it was just terrible. Trying to remember all the different procedures for cash payments, payments my credit card/laser card, payments by all the different kinds of vouchers, the printing of gift receipts, returning items, exchanging items, refunding customers, it goes on and on and on.....was extremely difficult. Im in my third week now i think and its only now that im getting the hang of it. However i am glad that im working where i am, as it will give me very good retail exeperience as River Island is one of the biggest names in the retail and fashion business. Also i will be qualified to work behind tills and this will be a big advantage to me in terms of future employment.
I have had some issues with my job so far. Yesterday is a very good example. I nearly got fired! Basically i thought i was working from 1-5, unfortunately i got a phone call about 12pm from my manager wondering why i wasnt in work and that i was schedueled to be working from 9am to 1pm. I told her that i was on my way in for my 1-5 shift and that i was certain that this was the shift i was meant to be working. She said she will check it out properly when i get in. So i got in about quarter past 12, met with the manager and we checked the roster.....FUCK...it said 9-1......how the hell did i get that wrong? The roster had not been changed, it was entirely my fuck up. Now the funny thing is that this had already happened before. But thankfully they didnt think much of it due to the fact that i was new. Anyway this time i could sense some anger from my usually friendly and kind manager. Now she isnt the kind to get pissed off and i could tell from the way she was talking to me that she was trying her best not to crucify me. Anyway she told me that i could work that day from 1-5 (as i incorrectly thought. ) Which was really nice of her as it would of been so embarrasing for me not to work that day at all as all the other staff would probably know how i fucked up so bad and how much of an idiot i was. Anyway i went to get a coffee and smoke several cigarettes. My head was fucked up, i just couldnt believe how stupid i was and how i let that happen. Had very little confidence in myself at that stage. It definetly showed through my work that day.....I kept fucking up! Pressing wrong buttons everywhere! Argh! We were extremely busy that day as it was a saturday and its the run up to christmas. Eventually my shift was finished and i got the fuck out of there. I was just so angry after it, seriously had not been in a bad mood in such a long time (and the fact that i found out Newcastle through away a 2-0 lead against Stoke didnt help my mood). I went home, ate a pizza, watched some tv and hit the hay eventually.
I woke up this morning in a slightly better mood and went to work straight away, i had a shift from 12-4. It went pretty well, again we were extremely busy but i didnt fuck up and i walked out of that place with my head held high (also repeating to myself that i am working wednesday and friday 6-10 both days :P)
So that pretty much my work life at the moment. Trying to study in between going to college, working and sleeping is proving rather difficult as college and work both take alot out of me especially when i have to do both on the same day. However all of it giving me a better sense of accomplishment within myself and making me a prouder person because I am trying and im not sitting on my ass which is what i used to do alot before.
Writing this now is making me feel alot better about where I'm at. It is showing me what i have done and what more i can do and has to be done.
On another note my social life has taken a nose dive in recent weeks. Last time i was out was 3 weeks ago in Limerick which ended up being a pretty crap night anyway. Thankfully i went out on thursday night and it was my class party which i organised due to my duties and responsibilities as Class Rep. I had a great night and it was really fun talking to people in my class who i would usually not talk with due to the fact we all have our own groups withing our class. I also got horribly drunk! But it was good kind of drunk. I did feel like shit the next day but it was worth it as i had a great night and i think i deserved to have a good time.
I suppose i might aswel include an update on my love life in this post. There is none :D
Now and again it gets me down and im slightly worried as usually there isnt a problem in this department but i know myself not to get too concerned about it. I know myself that im not looking for any relationship at this stage in my life and i have more important things to be doing than getting involved in one of those things again. However i wouldnt mind the odd bit of woman here or there, keep me sane anyway :P
Thats all i can really think of right now thats going on in my life. There is also the possibility of doing a J1 next summer but i will discuss that in another post. Anyway id like to apoligise to anyone who reads this blog that i havent been posting as much as i used to but i am definetly going to try and address that issue in the future.
Till Next Time.
Sean.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Be the best person you can be
What does that actually mean ?
You always here this phrase from so many different places and people.
Lately i've been thinking alot about this and what it actually means.
I think that to be the best person you can be means that you should achieve things that you want, things that you can stride for and things that will make you a better person.
In the past 6 months or so, i must say i have not been achieving the things i want or the things that could make me a better person. Most of my time these days is spent sitting on my ass doing sweet fuck all. Its pretty sad in a way to be honest. My lazyness has always been a thing that has stopped be from achieving my full potential and my inability to commit to things is also a factor in this.
Of late, i have been trying to address some issues. Some of the things that i want to stride towards include, having a better diet, cut down on smoking, start studying, getting more exercise, get a job and learn the guitar or another musical instrument.
I think if i could achieve these things then i would be a much happier person, however is achieving all these things possible? Is it just too much to do ? I hope not because i hope that i can do all these things and that they will make a better and happier person.
I am trying to get my act together. For example i have a job over the christmas period, i put alot of effort into trying to find a job and i got it. This should be a kick up the arse to me because i now should be able to realise that if i put effort into something then it will pay dividends. Im happy that i have this job because i want to start saving some money. I hate asking my Dad for money, he never complains, in fact he is always asking if i need any money. He told me recently that i shouldnt feel gulity about asking me for money...but i do, im pretty much an adult now and i have to start acting like one. Ive talking enough money off that man in recent years and i finally think that enough is enough. I also got a job over the next two days working in DCU for the open days, i get paid about 100 euro for telling little secondary school students where to find certain buildings on campus and my opinions and experiences of DCU life so far. Pretty sweet job if you ask me !
I hope that this will be the beginning of me getting my act together and for me to be the best person that i could be. There is alot more i want to write about this topic, but im extremely tired (not lazy) and i have to be up early tomorrow for college/work. This reminds me that the fact i have not written in this blog lately is because of my lazyness.
Anyway, hopefully i will have alot more posts on this blog as it should be an indication that im getting my act together and achieving my full potential.
Till next time.
Sean.
You always here this phrase from so many different places and people.
Lately i've been thinking alot about this and what it actually means.
I think that to be the best person you can be means that you should achieve things that you want, things that you can stride for and things that will make you a better person.
In the past 6 months or so, i must say i have not been achieving the things i want or the things that could make me a better person. Most of my time these days is spent sitting on my ass doing sweet fuck all. Its pretty sad in a way to be honest. My lazyness has always been a thing that has stopped be from achieving my full potential and my inability to commit to things is also a factor in this.
Of late, i have been trying to address some issues. Some of the things that i want to stride towards include, having a better diet, cut down on smoking, start studying, getting more exercise, get a job and learn the guitar or another musical instrument.
I think if i could achieve these things then i would be a much happier person, however is achieving all these things possible? Is it just too much to do ? I hope not because i hope that i can do all these things and that they will make a better and happier person.
I am trying to get my act together. For example i have a job over the christmas period, i put alot of effort into trying to find a job and i got it. This should be a kick up the arse to me because i now should be able to realise that if i put effort into something then it will pay dividends. Im happy that i have this job because i want to start saving some money. I hate asking my Dad for money, he never complains, in fact he is always asking if i need any money. He told me recently that i shouldnt feel gulity about asking me for money...but i do, im pretty much an adult now and i have to start acting like one. Ive talking enough money off that man in recent years and i finally think that enough is enough. I also got a job over the next two days working in DCU for the open days, i get paid about 100 euro for telling little secondary school students where to find certain buildings on campus and my opinions and experiences of DCU life so far. Pretty sweet job if you ask me !
I hope that this will be the beginning of me getting my act together and for me to be the best person that i could be. There is alot more i want to write about this topic, but im extremely tired (not lazy) and i have to be up early tomorrow for college/work. This reminds me that the fact i have not written in this blog lately is because of my lazyness.
Anyway, hopefully i will have alot more posts on this blog as it should be an indication that im getting my act together and achieving my full potential.
Till next time.
Sean.
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