Hate to be the Bearer of Bad News.......

So anyway as i was saying from my previous post, I came home to Limerick on New Years Day. It was really good to be back but unfortunately i was given some news which sort of fucked up my triumphant return to my home city. Anyway i suppose i can start of saying that i have two really good friends (I will call them John and Frank) for confidentiality purposes. They were also best friends with each other. Now Frank had be going out with this girl called Nikki for nearly over a year. Frank went abroad for his studies back in in August and his relationship with Nikki was on the rocks, however they still werent broken up. Now this is where John comes into the equation. I knew from back in the summer that John and Nikki had made out with each other on a drunken night out. I was pissed off about this but i didnt hold a grudge too long against John because i have done some shit like that in my past so i would be a hypocrite if held a grudge too long. Anyway when i got back to Limerick, I met up with John and he told me the news. He was now going out with Nikki. I thought this was strange, and i was angry at him for doing this to Frank but apparently he is in love....I went home after that and mulled over the new situation .

I got a call from Frank that night. He knew about the situation too and he told me some horrible news which John decided to leave out. Basically John and Nikki have been fucking each other for the past few months, and it didnt suprise me because i always knew that there was something going on between them two. Now they were doing this even when Frank and Nikki were still doing stuff together. Frank is heartbroken of course. And the way he found out about this would make you even feel more sorry for the guy. He was sleeping over in Johns house after a night out. Frank wasnt able to sleep so he decided to flick through Johns college notes, unfortunately they werent college notes. They were love letters from Nikki and pretty explicit ones at that. Frank then rang Nikki told her the truth was out and then proceeded to kick the shit out of John. Go Frank!

As you would imagine, this is extremely fucked up and now i then received even more information which would make you hate John even more. While i was on the phone to Frank discussing all the events, he suddenly said "Sean, man... I really have to tell you something and im so sorry that i didnt tell you sooner...."My heart began to race. He then told me that John had made out with my ex girlfriend.....you know...the one im still in love with it, the one who i dedicated a whole post to in this blog! This happened about 2 weeks after i broke up with her and i was in dublin for college. I couldnt even decribe to you how i was feeling. My heart wouldnt stop pounding, i struggled to breathe, i was awash with rage. I felt so betrayed, by both of them, by John and my ex.

It was a strange situation. John, the guy i would regard as my best friend for the past 6 years, little innocent John, the guy who wouldnt hurt a fly. What baffles me about this whole situation is that i just could never imagine doing anything like this, to me or to Frank. I can honestly say i never felt so bad and betrayed in a long time, i can only imagine how Frank is feeling.....

I met up with John the day after, he told me that he was so sorry, he was going to tell me, he was really drunk, yada yada yada.......
I didnt kick the shit out of him, i wouldnt waste my energy on that piece of shit. I still hung out with him that week, i know you may be thinking what the hell, but let me explain.

There is something about this guy I still love, Frank feels the same. As much of this guy has betrayed us, there is naturally a part of us that still love the guy. However i can admit that it wasnt the same when i was hanging out with him, anytime i thought of his tongue down my ex's throat i was tempted to start strangling him.

Anyway i couldnt concentrate on anything that week, i was meant to be studying, but i was so down about everything, what happened to me, what happened to frank, what has happened to my ex and what kind of person she is becoming. I just couldnt get any of these things out of my mind. I had to get back to Dublin and i did. Came back last sunday and im glad. It hasnt been on my mind as much but it still lingers.

I have more important things to be worrying about anyway. Exams.

My exams should go okay. Even though i feel very under prepared for them . I have put alot of study into them all this week but i think its too little too late. Anyway we will see. They start on tuesday and if the first one goes well then all will be good (hopefully).

I have alot to look forward to in the next couple of months. Going to New York, seeing my brother in New Zealand. Things which should encourage me to study and get my head down but alas here i am on the internet dossing!

Till next time.